At the Shooting Range

Janny Get Your Gun!!

 Sort of like Annie get your gun! Janny is what my mom calls me. My middle name is Jan. She is the only one, and I love it!
So what is wrong with this picture?

You can't see my legs shaking!
The problem here is that I can't even open a can of biscuits, let alone shoot a gun with a loud bang and fire coming out of the end! It is not that I can't open the biscuits without jumping. I just can't hardly bear to do it at all!. I must have a phobia! So I looked it up- ligyrophobia:  the fear of loud noises. But that isn't it. I just have a fear of opening biscuits in a can and shooting a gun. 

I don't want to admit this, but it has become sort of impossible to pull the trigger.  I hate shooting a gun! But I want to like it! In my mind I would be a regular Annie Oakley or Jamie Bond. It is really upsetting, 'cause I don't know what to do about it. I know what they say, "get back on the horse right away,  I don't want to. I can't do it. 


I haven't been shooting since Feb. '09.  Tom K. was so patient teaching Sarah and me. And then we went to an indoor shooting range. Some guy in there was shooting a cannon, plus all the other guns going off. It felt like a bazillion biscuit cans were going off at the same time, and I don't like to hear even one pop. We looked at each other and Sarah said with tears in her eyes, "I think I feel like crying."  And in response to her tears I said, "I think we are crying!" 


Then it was my turn. Tom put one bullet in my gun. I would slowly pull the trigger 4 times, and he would say, ok now this is the real thing." It took me several minutes before I could do it. One bullet!" I just kept saying, "I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this...." over and over. 


How can this happen to me. It is absurd. My dad loved guns and hunting. I am from Arizona - the wild west. I lived in the desert with rattlesnakes, coyotes and bobcats. I rode my horse Indian style (no saddle). 

my horse Tashem (notice I am wearing moccasins)

Hey, maybe I would be better off using a bow and arrow. 

They make less noise.